My Fathers Trying Time
In Mangalore, we do not have Eucharistic Ministers coming home. The Priest visits every month once. My father when he was alive, he missed on receiving Communion for 3 months, because the Priest had no time to visit the sick. And being sick my father could not participate in the Online mass.
When he was okay, my father waited for the Priest each time, so that he could make his confession. But our Priest, Fr. Denis Desa would come give communion and move off within 2-4 minutes. It was a very businesslike approach-very cold, very distant. I don't know what He felt in His heart, but in His behaviour He was very professional. There was a lack of caring.
Each time my father would prepare himself to ask Fr. Desa for confession, but the Priest always was in such hurry that He did not make time to care for the elderly. He would make no effort for a conversation-He did not give a chance for a person to ask Him, "Would You hear my confession, Father?" In Fr. Desa’s 1 year in the Parish my father waited but never got his turn.
My father suffered from non-availability of Jesus in communion for 3 months and non-availability of Jesus in confession for a whole year. When the Priest Fr. Desa did finally come for anointing my father, my father was unable to speak or sit. So, a confession was a far-off thing.
It is my cousin who took the initiative and called the Priest stating the need as anointing of the Sick.
When Fr. Denis Desa had administered my Father with The Sacrament, The Anointing of the sick, my Father would not let go of His hand. He held onto the Priest’s hand in an attempt to just be there. My father loved Priests. He was especially even more sweet and kind to the Priest Fr. Desa. And for the first time, Fr. Desa acutally was really nice to my Father. For the first time, He took the time and spoke with my Father. His kindness to my Father, i will forever remember.
I know it was a test and such a hard one for me and my father.
Like my father, I too love Priests.
God orchestrates everything to perfection. It was my father’s testing time, there is no doubt. I love my Father and I am very proud of him.
My Father was tested thoroughly. But one of the sweetest lessons I learnt from my father through all his years of living, never complain. There were many a times, i failed to understand his silence. I did not appreciate it, because i always felt he should have said something. There were times of bitter accusations towards me and i saw him sit silently, not saying a word. I knew then but i now fully understand his silence. He suffered and he understood me.
He suffered all the accusations, all the lies, in silence and all through the years.
He made it his motto: Never complain.
My Father's doctor is a BHMS doctor. It was my mom's thinking that he was a MBBS Doctor. Anyway, i did not like him because other than injecting my father twice a month with some vitaminized dose, there was no diagnosis done. Towards the end I and my cousin started reading whatever we could to understand my father’s condition and to help my father. If it was Bombay we could have got help. But here, it was difficult.
This doctor gave my father’s death certificate without even having checked him. He was not even present at the scene, neither did he ever come after that. This behaviour is highly questionable in a doctor.
Having a doctor who could not rightly diagnose my father was painful to watch. My father suffered with pain which could have been set to healing a lot earlier, but I know of God’s Grace for God had a higher purpose for my Father.
I know with a certainty for this reason alone my Father was given this doctor.
For this reason alone my Father was given Fr. Denis Desa. But please God guide Your Priest, let no soul suffer.
I reached Mangalore, on the 22nd of May, at 06:00 am fully prepared.
There were thoughts to have my father looked after in a home for the aged. It was never a thought for me, no. When there are no children, one has no option. But in the Grace of God, i am still alive and so i left from Bombay with the intention to bring my Father home to Bombay. I thought I would wait for my father to heal and then take him Home.
Jesus made me a Promise of Restoration for my Father, when I was still in Bombay.
Abba Father Promised my Father would be restored.
On the 28th of August, around 23:55 and onwards, I tell my father, “I’m not ready to let go”.
As i pray to Jesus, I pray “Jesus my father’s condition is bad, I remind You of Your Promise of Restoration to my Father, please Jesus Restore my Father.”
I pray, “Abba Father restore my father.”
“Please give me and my Father a second chance.”
And this happened immediately as I finished my prayer, I hear a first gasp of breath and then a second gasp.
And my cousin comes in and together we see my father take a third gasp and my Father looks normal.
And I tell my cousin, he is getting better.
My cousin tells me Anita, he has left us.
It took me a long time to believe. I have my questions.
My Father left for his Heavenly Home on the 29th at 24:05 hours. (This is approximate time-i am not sure. Because Jesus said - restoration was the 28th, going by Jesus words, the time of my fathers leaving would be the 28th, it can't be otherwise.)
At that point I did not understand but I never questioned God.
I kept wondering all through the day and asking myself what Restoration really means?
I know God is Faithful.
30/08/24 – I ask my cousin at night.
31/08/24 – I ask my mom.
I tell them everything. Because I know I can now reveal. The Promised Time for this Purpose has passed.
My mom thinks I prayed for restoration and she answers in that manner. I tell my mom, I did not pray asking for restoration, God Promised it to me.
On the 29th, my cousin asks me to write an Eulogy and I do. But when another cousin of mine, speaks, it is nothing of what I have written. At first, I had my questions? But then after mass, I realized my Father would have loved it.
My Father was a simple man with a simple heart.
28th August
Note: Abba Father had promised me my Father's Restoration.
Jesus had promised me at the beginning of the month that on the 28th my Father would be Restored.
29th August
Note: My Father left for his Heavenly Home today at 24:05 hours (approximately).
My Father left this world on the 100th day of me and my cousin coming to Mangalore. It is my cousin who took care of my Father.
PSALM 100
All Lands Summoned to Praise God. A Psalm for the thank offering.
1 Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the lands!
2 Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!
3 Know that the Lord is God!
It is he that made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him, bless his name!
5 For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures for ever,
and his faithfulness to all generations.
30th August
Note: Funeral Day.
I was told not to go out until my father was restored. I have been home all the 100 days, today is the 101 day, when I go to Church.
3rd September 2024.
My Father:-(all the numbers i realized only today). The numbers were always coming. They were always talking to me. It is i, who needs to quieten down and learn and understand. And i have to grow in the Love of God and my neighbour even further, with the grace of God.
28 28 28 18 9 12 14
84 53 =137 (6770)
84 + (18+12+14=44)/9
84 + 44 (/9)
128 / 9 =14.22222222222222—(Fourteen Two’s)
Fr. Reuben Tellis(=142)sang ‘Oh to be in Bandra’= PSALM 128
PSALM 128 - The Happy Home of the Faithful.
1 Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways!
2 You shall eat the fruit of the labour of your hands;
you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
4 Lo, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.
5 The Lord bless you from Zion! May you see the prosperity
of Jerusalem all the days of your life!
6 May you see your children’s children!
Peace be upon Israel!
5th September 2024.
Note: My Fathers Months mind mass (It is a week now)
The First day i went out was on the 30th to The Church.
And today (050924) again i did go to The Church.
I did go to a few relatives’ home because we had food in excess. My mother thought it better to share with our relatives.
ABBA Father has promised me a Second Chance with my Father. But that is on the day i leave this world and i am excited for and when the day comes.
Psalm 119 (47Fname+72Lname=119--Fr.John Pereira.)
89 For ever, O Lord, thy word
is firmly fixed in the heavens.
90 Thy faithfulness endures to all generations;
thou hast established the earth, and it stands fast.
91 By thy appointment they stand this day;
for all things are thy servants.
92 If thy law had not been my delight,
I should have perished in my affliction.
93 I will never forget thy precepts;
for by them thou hast given me life.
94 I am thine, save me;
for I have sought thy precepts.
95 The wicked lie in wait to destroy me;
but I consider thy testimonies.
96 I have seen a limit to all perfection,
but thy commandment is exceedingly broad.
This is me oh my Lord,
Remember Your Promises to me and save me!
I wait on You, my God! I am Yours.
Thank You, Abba Father, for watching over my Father.
Thank You, Jesus for my Father.
Thank You, Holy Spirit for guiding me and so wonderfully.
THANK YOU, ALMIGHTY GOD! Your Ways are WONDERFUL!
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