Hello! 2

There is a lot I have learnt in my two months stay in Mangalore. For about 45-50 days I was unable to hear. I could hear the celebration of the mass, for which I am eternally grateful to God.
God bless my family, they were extremely patient with me. I say this because in my family, we all love to talk and my parents had to make an extra effort when talking to me.  

These are my experiences I write. Part of it is what I have faced with people. Part of it is what I have come to understand. In silence, I experienced a lot. I was always in conversation with God. He kept me in silence so I could hear Him alone. There were moments I craved to hear as normal people do. But then there were those moments where in silence, He filled my heart completely. Those are the moments I cherish the most.  


There was a time when the company I worked for hosted a party. The two men at the party were drunk and they were insisting that since we live in the same area they would give me a drop. I said no thank you. When they kept insisting, I kindly refused. I refused because their intention was wicked. They did not take my response kindly and they held on to that anger for months.

But God is quick, I say this because I was worried as to how to go home. As I walked away a colleague walked up to me and told me he was leaving and if I was looking for company. This colleague of mine had his share of drinks too. But he was alright. He not only dropped our female colleague but he made sure I got a drop till my gate and then he went towards his home. He should have been the first to reach home. I was to pay him my share of the money but he paid the whole fare. And not once did he misbehave. Today I call him friend.

One Person say X comes to Mt. Carmel’s for the 7:30 mass every evening with his wife. Would you ever think of such a person as wicked?

The other person say Y, he and his wife are the people who do the Potta arrangements for people to attend the retreat. He sings the passion of our Lord on Good Fridays. Would you ever think of such a person as carrying wicked intentions?

Such is the wicked-wicked world. And these are the people of the church, the two people with horrible thoughts. Pope Francis says Love the sinner and hate the sin.
And yes, I never attend any parties other than family outings. 

People behave wickedly and some of them think, that, nobody should talk about it? WHY not? You do the crime. You do the time. Correction is of the essence. God is watching us... I write...

I don't speak in tongues. What I understood back then, is that people spoke in languages that were foreign to them. I have yet to understand this concept. What I do not understand, I stay silent on. But when I see ridiculous behaviour I’ll be quiet till the Spirit of God tells me to. Some people like me are in search of God and whatever path they find, they walk on. For them I pray, like maybe someone prays over me. There are good people. But some are just plain fake. Sometimes I hear people sing in tongues taking Hindi music. And I think what? And some people scream, like the Holy Spirit cannot hear them? I wonder why?

I remember my confirmation day so clearly, when the Bishop applied the seal of the Holy Spirit, on my forehead. I felt a silence. I felt joy. I had a lovely-simple day. The Bishop did not scream and call the Spirit of God. There was no thunderous clapping and what not.

The Spirit of God, is a part of our everyday life. He is here with us form the day of our Baptism. In silence, He fills us, in Silence we find the answers, in silence we find God.

Sometimes this is what I wonder, when I hear people scream and sing, Halleluiah! Halleluiah! I understand what it is to praise and worship. I do. They make it look like the Spirit of God comes on them only when they scream to the loudest, otherwise God is not listening! I find that weird. I find it difficult to understand that as gentle as the Spirit of God is, and the people calling with such loud ways, say I am a believer, I say Okay it could be so, but when you call on the Spirit of God, where is the deeds, where is the love for the other? Where is the gentleness? When people pray calling on the Spirit of God, I would expect them to have that heart that is so open and understanding and loving. I would think that their heart would be so tender that I would never want to leave from that place. 
Unfortunately, the Halleluiah! Halleluiah! is become a pattern and I have seen people just suddenly start praying and then suddenly there is quietness. I experienced this in Mangalore when I went to Stella Maris Church.

I am not part of the crowd that shakes my head and says yes. I do what I am asked to do. It is always up to God!

For retreats, I see the list of things, they ask a person to carry. It’s not like the charges are less. But let’s talk about, why we go for a retreat?

When I went for a retreat, my earnest desire was to sit in the presence of God with no concern to time. Time means little. I am here today, gone tomorrow. All I wanted was to tell Jesus of my love?

It did not matter to me, where I would sleep. It mattered very little, about eating. But when there was a list given, I followed it. It was my first retreat and I don’t think I will ever think of another.

Most people were concerned with room facilities and food. I remember there was Chicken biryani and some people behaved like they had never seen chicken before or for that matter ever eaten.

People are more worried, about eating, their baths and their rest time.

And yes I also remember a couple who came for the retreat and asked for a separate room for themselves? And the lady told them, yes, there is a room, but there would be extra charges. Can you imagine that, a separate room for the retreat? This is horribly wrong. This is not a retreat mentality.  

We have to leave the worldly way behind. Time matters no more when you come for a retreat. It must be God and me. That is what a retreat must be. I must look for God and He knows I’m looking for Him. He lets me find Him. But my search must be genuine.

The ideal retreat - my time with God.

• I can sleep on the floor. Bed is a luxury unless the person is aged or sick.
• I eat when food is provided. Nothing fancy. Remember you have come to spend time with God and you are not in a Restaurant. Deny feasting.
• No nap time in the afternoons. Deny yourself the rest. 
• The most important aspect of the retreat is SILENCE.
• In silence you will find God.
• The last time there was this person Lenny and he spoke as if the aborted person was in the room. Maybe he knew someone and was speaking. But that is not right. Imagine that person is already wounded and comes for healing. His accusation would have caused more hurt and more grief. It is not right to hurt a person at all. That is a serious NO! And that too in the presence of the Holy Eucharist and the Priest. No outside speaker. If one is permitted then there must be a formal training and the Priest must know what the speakers topic is and if there is a mistake then there must be a gentle rebuke. No body must be offended, least of all the person who makes a retreat.
• Reverence to the Holy Eucharist. It is not an entertainment program for people to come up and place their hands all over the Holy Eucharist, just because the speaker said so. Lenny made no sense, in the absence of a priest, he began to think he was one. If he did not talk there would be no problem. No outside speaker. There may be some good people, but they may be so few to number.  
• If a retreat is to be conducted it must always have a Priest in Charge. No one else will do. 
• Of what I have seen during Eucharistic adoration, a person sits with the rest of the people, he makes note of certain things and then it is read out to the public. I don’t believe in the way it is done. That is not the way the spirit of God works. 
It is like everyone is waiting for a magic show or the 4th of July fire-works. It is a crowd puller, yes. But it is not what God wants. I’ll be blunt, you can pull out information of people from anywhere, these days. You don’t need to know magic. Is it spirit works, or is it man works? We are answerable to God. 
• No petition box. Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
  

  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

  Which of us would sacrifice anything of ours for anyone. God loves us so much that He gave His only Son. Will He then withhold anything from us?
  Jesus says ask. Remember, Faith pleases God.
  Petition box blocks ones asking God.
  God wants more for you than you do.
  COME! Sit in the presence of the Lord!
   

This is my experience, I had when the Potta team had come to Mt. Carmel’s. I wanted to know, what it felt like listening to them.

Everybody loved it, including my cousin.

But this is what I want for you, to realize, all people talk and true it can be wonderful to listen. And with the Praise and worship, there is nothing like it.

But for me, I found that everybody spoke and what I could remember was a very minute bit. And honestly I was a lot sick at the time and I got bored too. I am not the retreat – all talk kind of person.
I love listening to Priests. I like my silence-it gives me time to reflect. I love my time with God. In silence, God fills me with His Peace. Silence is a wonderful feeling. But when you don’t experience silence, when you don’t enjoy it, then let me tell you the hard truth, you haven’t experienced God. That is the essence of a good Retreat really.

In a retreat, you come to experience God. But if everyone talks, if there is no silence and you haven’t spoken with God, then how and when will God respond? How will God work in your heart? Do you understand? 

Fr. Ashlyn, would always say, come and sit before God (in the presence of the Holy Eucharist). What he implied was, come and sit in silence and find Him here!

There was this recording of a catholic prayer group who had been to Gulf. And the speaker was asking the people to state the amount they received as salary, and then the speaker told them they were to pay tithe. I stopped watching the programme when I realized that his intention was to know the salaries, so as to get more out of the people who had come for whatever that was. I was shocked with the program, I don't think that should be a matter of discussion. Anyway, this is what people do in the name of God. Everybody is accountable to God.

Faith like a mustard seed. I don’t know the process of growth in a mustard  seed. But I have watched plants. They definitely take time to germinate. You have to have lots of patience and yes a belief that today could be the day you could see it sprout! My goodness what a delight it is, when it does.
To get your prayer answered, is kind of the same way, patience and the belief that today could just be the day when it all comes around.
The point Jesus was making is that even a little bit of faith, faith the size of a mustard seed, can overcome mountainous obstacles in our lives. Miracles are never a magic show! You pray and leave it to God. You don't need anybody in the world to tell you that your prayer has been heard by God. 
Only Believe! 
God always answers in His time. Not my time, or yours, but His time. Not one minute early and not a second late. Always on time, His time.

Have faith in God! Mark 11:22

Have faith in His Will! It always works out. God always has our best interest. Trust God!

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