To Forgive

7 Last Words of CHRIST

Forgiveness is resisting revenge, wishing people well, grieving at their calamities, praying for their good, seeking reconciliation, and coming to their aid in distress.

What gives us the freedom and the ability and the power to forgive those who have wronged us so deeply and hurt us so badly to say the least?

Ephesians 4:32–5:2, And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

THE VIRTUES we MUST PRACTISE. Ephesians 4:25-32

4:25 Therefore, putting away falsehood, let everyone speak the truth with his neighbour, for we are members one of another.

Lying injures not only the neighbour, but oneself also, because that which injures one part of the body reacts on the whole.

4:26 angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 4:27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

Unreasonable anger, which springs from wounded personal feelings must be avoided.

Do not react in anger. The reaction is a sin.

Let not the sun… This means that the cause of anger should be removed and the offence repaired as soon as possible.

Give no place to the devil: Anger is the opportunity given to the devil to bring in the soul feelings of unending hatred, revenge and so on.

4:28 This is what it means, do some good manual work as a remedy and as a means of earning something to be given to those in need, in reparation for goods ill-gotten in the past.

4:29 The Apostle now turns to prohibiting foul speech of every kind, and enjoining that which is good.

4:30 Another reason for avoiding foul speech is that the Holy Spirit may not be grieved.

4:31 Paul strikes at the root of the different vices: all resulting in uncontrolled anger with violent tendencies to harm others. St. Paul continues

4:32 Be kind, merciful (tender-hearted), forgiving and all this because God has forgiven you.

REASONS To FORGIVE

It can be hard to forgive someone… And yet, if they say sorry then one should forgive them because Jesus said “And if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Luke 17:4

But, what if they don’t think they have said or done anything wrong or they simply don’t care? Here are some reasons to forgive people.

If I don’t forgive then God cannot forgive me, even if I repent. “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:15.

Jesus gave me an example when dying on the cross. He was in complete agony, but even then, Jesus thinks about us. And we are called to be like Him. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34.

What good can I do if my thoughts are resentful? God can’t use me. God can’t bless me. Resentment sours my thoughts and my spirit. “Strive for peace with all men, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fail to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” spring up and cause trouble, and by it the many become defiled;” Hebrews 12:14-15.

Forgiveness gives me power in my spirit. With the word of God, I exercise my senses, I am able to discern between good and evil, I learn. 1 Timothy 6:11, “But as for you, man of God, shun all this; aim at righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.”

If people understood that what they say and do impacts their relationship with God, they would generally strive to be better, kinder, more loving people. They would ask God for help to live in a better way.

Jesus said, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone …” John 8:7.

Jesus calls us to examine what is deep in our heart. I have always had this incredible grace of God to be able to forgive and completely. My whole life has been about hurtful moments, but without the grace of God, what am I? I understand it’s not easy to forgive. But, the more I read the Word, I understand how we enter into God’s way of thinking. Leave the “justice;” to God.

And when I leave it to God, I will come to perfect rest.

LETTING GO!

One of the things one notices is that many people have a problem in letting go. They not only find it difficult to let go of some of their past sins, but they hold on to the past sins of people who were close to them.

They constantly keep bringing up the past as a result they end up being not pleasant people to be around with.

Dwelling on the mistakes and throwing it back in the faces of those who are close to you will just make it that much harder to get over with and get on with the rest of your life.

They know God has forgiven, but they have to learn to let go. God chooses to not want to remember any of our sins once He has fully forgiven them.

“I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25

And if God is no longer going to want to remember any of our past sins, then we need to do likewise to our self and with others in our life.

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any one; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25

Life is short. FORGIVE because we need to be forgiven too AND FORGET because that means we can proceed ahead in life with no feeling of bitterness.

This same principle will also apply to what others may have done to you such as a drunk driver killing one of your family members. I know this, because it has happened to our family. My brother was killed on one of the safest roads. He was the most carful person I know. But only God knows the hour when tragedy strikes. I was called to be present at the court and the cop there told me that they have the driver and I was to say that I witnessed the accident and point towards him. The cop just wanted the reckless driver in prison. But my accusing him, for what I had not witnessed would not bring my brother back. I spoke the truth. I don’t know if they set him free. My brother is in Heaven, the best place in the world.

It hurts to know that my brother bled to death. It hurts to remember that for days, I could see the blood marks all over the road. But over time, the Lord heals our wounds and shows us how forgiving and forgetting is the best way out.

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brethren, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14

PETERS Words, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22.For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15.Forgiving others who have wronged us, can sometimes seem like an insurmountably difficult thing to do. In some cases it’s a process that really takes time. Yet, the Bible is clear on the necessity of it. 

Jesus words: “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” Is it easy? No.
I can do all things in him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13. Does forgiving mean the person who wronged you doesn’t have to take responsibility for his/her actions? The fact that you forgive someone does not condone what they have done, nor does it by any means make it all right. No, but you will be free from the thoughts of hatred and bitterness. Forgive and forget. Forgiveness is not only for the one you are forgiving, but for your own sake too. It is one thing to be wary and aware, and another thing to hate and resent.

Forgiveness is a choice. It’s choosing not to let thoughts of hatred rule in our heart. It’s choosing to go to God to find help and comfort instead of dwelling on the past, even when our feelings would rather do anything but that. The power we need for this we get from the Holy Spirit. Jesus-When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten; but he trusted to him who judges justly. 1 Peter 2:23.Draw near to God, and in His love you’ll find everything you need.

Forgiving and forgetting is difficult. By refusing to forgive someone, we're choosing to hold on to all the anger and bitterness that their actions have created.
Forgiveness without forgetting means you let go of your emotions of anger and bitterness, only momentarily to recall it at another time.

 

REMEMBER:

We are only able to forgive with the grace of God. We cannot do it on our own strength. To be able to forget the wrongs done to us, is again with the understanding and grace of God. We cannot choose to let go of the past on our own.

The devil uses past memories, past wounds to increase the bitterness and never letting the wound heal. Once he gets to a point, he plays it over and over again and at times changing the strategy.

Pray in all earnestness, pray the Rosary. It is our strongest weapon against the devil.

To forget does not mean the hurt will go. To forget, means when it comes to memory, (when the devil uses it to torment you) you will not seek to take revenge or get bitter about it. It is at this time we need to pray to God in all earnestness.

To forget is as important as forgiving, without which the forgiveness is incomplete.