Saturday, August 4, 2018

To Sense... 2



I most certainly hope you have read the first part to this letter. Because it would help in a way. But no worries. This is me and I don’t like to have missed and most certainly I don’t choose to ignore anybody. When I walk I look at the road ahead of me, it’s a habit. I don’t look on either side. I ask the people I know to call out my name. I tell them that I would never choose to ignore. I could never live with that. I don’t want to hurt anybody. You are precious to The One I love-you are precious to me.

As a kid I would love to attend my Sunday classes at Mt. Carmel’s. Some months back I found my catechism book and my roll number was 17.
17th June – It was the last day of the training the 17th and when I looked at my cell the time was 17:17 (a confirmation again the first one being the 16th of July, 2017. 171717)



The hardest part in life - has to be the moment when you tell someone, that what they are doing is not entirely right. And what is most difficult is to watch them get hurt. When you love that is the last thing you want to do and yet with God that is precisely the first thing that has to be done. God does not want any Soul lost. 

Most of everything - the points mentioned below are a big fail! 


Day 8th July, 2018. 10:15 am. Sunday
Fr. Daniel spoke on Truth – a part of his homily.

Day 15th July, 2018. 10:15 am. Sunday.

Fr. Daniel mentioned – Here I am.
My letter to Abba Father 14th February, 2010 stating Here I am.
Fr. Byron singing - Here I am 18th April 2012.
confirmed again 17th June, 2013.
A confirmation from God, through Fr. Daniel on both the 8th and 15th days.



Desire to be seen. Desire to be heard.
Christmas, Easter or New Year are days when one should choose to be with family. The lectors reading for the celebration of the mass are allocated places for the occasion and rightly so. Let’s say a woman has 1-4 small kids. And she prefers to be reading than being with her husband and kids. Is that right? On Festivals everyone wants to be reading in view of the crowd and for the camera and to be a star on TV by those who view the channel. Is that love of God? Not at all. It’s love of self-Totally and completely.
I have seen them, it's really not much different from the corporate world. In fact it is the same. I have heard people say they do a fantastic job. I have heard Priests say such wonderful things. And really what is so fantastic?
People have always come forward to sing. There is always people coming in. But it is always the people who come first hold the seat and never give it away. But seriously this is a crisis. Is it fantastic that death is the only thing that stops them from holding the seat forever. Is that what we come to do in Church? Otherwise they would be unstoppable.
Is that love of God? Obviously not. See if anything is done for the love of God, then it wont be a show. 
It’s a mad rush for popularity, to want it all to shine and be the ultimate star. And maybe they have a special resume where it reads, the great things done, for the Church? It is like they believe that God won’t remember so they have to tell the world of their accomplishments. One could wonder how did the Church run so far? 
I have heard people say and also I have read it on facebook, people actually have said that the so called people have done it with a zeal for God. Now many people are truly confused of what the word zeal means and where it needs to be used? Plainly put I will say there are only 1% of the people who do it for the love of God. They come do what needs to be done and move. They are like the breeze. A wind makes an impact, a breeze just gently makes you feel good.
Zeal is a good thing when lived for love of Christ. 
The rest is all show. And these kind of people are everywhere in the Church, in all the groups, at least in most. They want their presence felt. They want to believe that the Church could not do without them. They can't resist the limelight. They were born for the show, that is the kind of people that everyone thinks-work for the zeal of God. (Sadly this is a mistaken identity)
You have a family, be with them. You are a wife-you are a mother, then your husband and children need you. Don't leave these wonderful aspects of life and come to God. God is nobody's fool. 
I would like to say with the help of God, don’t lose on the time with your loved ones, that won’t come back again and slow down your pace, the world was there and it will continue to do so. Time waits for no man. 

Most people want people to know who they are.
They like being treated important. You may want to debate with me on this one. I understand. But if one did, what one did for the love of God, there would be that simplicity that humility that love. I don’t mean that one has to have that act of holiness put around them. But what I notice is a lot of pride.
Love must mark us all. Our love to God and our love for each other-our love for all.



Thus unlamented let me die, Steal from the world and not a stone know where I lie.
Recently I have learnt that to bury a person in the family grave costs 1 Lakh. This is what it is in Mangalore. I know to buy a new grave always did cost. And one definitely can’t argue on that considering the constraint on place. But the family grave, to charge for that place, a huge amount as this, where someone has already been buried-its plain pathetic. Everything is about the money. The poor man definitely has no value when alive and when dead definitely not. The rich have fancy lives and in death fancy graves and the poor their bones are scattered.





There is no reverence to God
I see most people in Mt. Carmel walk the Altar and then exit out from the door on the Altar whereas there are many other doors to exit from. Everybody does a catwalk on the Altar. When there is no reverence – it is then that there is no belief that GOD is actually present in the Church.

Altar is a place of complete and total reverence. It is not a place of gossip. In Mt. Carmel’s you see people standing on the Altar, talking right in front of the Tabernacle. It could be the Eucharistic ministers or the people who come to help the Sacristan. I have seen the helpers come and lean their body on the Altar (the place from where the mass is celebrated) and carry on a conversation as if it was a table where they can relax.
NO REVERENCE at all. 

I have seen just anybody come and remove the key - off from the Tabernacle. Is that right? The last I knew was when only the Priests or the Sacristan could do that? So how come Tom, Dick and Harry could also do that? 
When we fail to show reverence - we fail to acknowledge the presence of God. 
GOD is sacred, God is Holy. Time we show reverence to God - the Holy of Holies.


I have seen some EM’s sit on the first pew in direct view of the Tabernacle at Mt. Carmel and I have seen them talk like they were in the park.
The Eucharistic Ministers-some of them actually think they are doing a favour to God. Because they won’t be there at the start of the mass, but they happily come on the Altar, when it is time for Communion? WHY?
The Eucharistic Ministers have to be there before the mass begins. It is a job they have taken and they need to do it with a lot of love and sincerity. Where is the LOVE? If you as a Eucharistic Minister hold Jesus and help at communion time, yours is also the duty to be there with Jesus from the start of the celebration. You show no reverence at all to Jesus or the celebration of the Holy Mass. Be honest do you deserve to be a Eucharistic Minister-if you can’t be faithful, don’t join in.
Because yours is the job that asks for belief, discipline, sacrifice, love and reverence. 


JESUS IS THE WORD OF GOD that came true. NOT WORDS!  Word=Jesus
There is this Lector in Mt. Carmel’s who is stubborn, in her want to change the usage of the ‘Word of God’ into ‘Words of God’. This is what I noticed a month or two back. How is this right? I doubt if anyone hears at all to what the reading is, because if they did, they would have heard the ‘Words of God’, which is incorrect. I could safely say this happens only in Mt. Carmel’s Church.

In the beginning was the Word-Jesus    
and the Word was with God,              
and the Word was God.   John 1:1        



Intercessory prayer. 
I always believe that the people who pray as intercessors must always have a simple heart, a childlike belief and love for all. And yes a faith that can move mountains. I think it must have been 3 years or so when there were seats reserved for intercessors. And then suddenly they wanted more space so they were asking people to get up and go back. I thought that was wrong especially since people followed the markings. When one prays for the good of the people one must be able to also sacrifice the seats for the good of others. Wouldn’t that be right? Wouldn’t God be so pleased, maybe if you could just stand, would that be so hard? Maybe people would follow your example of what it must feel in the Church.
Sadly that was not the case. They were looking for seats and trying to force people out who had already been seated with no mistake on their part. 
An example for intercessory prayer. A paralytic is brought and lowered down the roof by his friends and seeing their faith (the faith of the friends), Jesus heals the man. 

Don’t get me wrong. I love to talk. But mostly what God permits of me. When the Spirit of God, tells me to stop, I do.
Talk is cheap, not all though. People talk for hours and most times it is absolute rubbish. Nothing ever makes sense and very little or nothing is ever achieved.
Sometimes speaking helps if a person is encouraging another. Then it is a job well done.
Too much talk, can cause depression, it can further irritate, provoke and create resentment.
When one talks much, much is wasted, no good really comes out of all that is spoken. In silence much is achieved. In silence God speaks to the heart. In silence the mind is open to receive and the heart open to obey. In silence two hearts connect as one. Silence is the way to God. It is the bridge that one needs to walk on. 


Eucharistic Adoration-silence
Fr. Ashlyn would keep Eucharistic Adoration on Mondays from 08:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. It would be 3 hours of total silence. This is what I have learnt from Fr. Ashlyn. To come and sit before Jesus in silence. It was the 3 hours I loved.
People want to showcase themselves. Some want to sing and some others want to talk. But basically no one wants to maintain silence-in order to listen to Jesus. And surprisingly the people too want someone to talk and sing during the Eucharistic Adoration. They find it difficult to sit before the LORD.
When we are silent, Jesus talks to us. In the silence Jesus waits as a Host, not in the form of the Son of God that He is. In all humility He waits for us to make contact. But we look for Him in all the splendour.
In Silence, when we come before God, we are in no race to get anywhere. Our mind is able to listen.

God speaks to me all the time, and all the time I listen. 

When I sit at night, I am able to write and it never ends until God tells me to sleep. There are so many instructions and my heart at that moment only feels the intensity of love and the correction that God wants from all of us. I too am corrected with you. I have a lot to learn before I write. I can’t write till my lesson is over. Silence is important. This is what I have learnt with Fr. Ashlyn to come in silence.
You don't have to go to far away places to be with Jesus, if you have a prayer room in your church, just be with Jesus. A five minutes everyday, a ten minutes, whatever time you can in your schedule and whenever you can. COME to Jesus.
Don't get carried away by people who say they sit every day for hours in the presence of Jesus. It is by grace we come to be before Him.
When people claim they pray a lot, it is just a claim. Silence is a reward in itself. 





I always believe that when we pray the ‘Eternal Rest’ we must always stand up. In all the years, most of the time, we pray, I have with the congregation seen ourselves seated. I don’t think that is right, is it? 

I often find it difficult to understand that when people leave their aged parents to pursue their ways to life and then when the parents (mother) passes away mostly being alone, they at the funeral play the song, ‘Mother of mine.’ I never understand that, I never will. And then for the eulogy or whatever you call it, they have such a big talk, my mother was this and that. But the mother was always, where was the child, I suppose-‘Missing in action.’ Hypocrisy it grows each day.
If and when you love your parents, I don’t think you will want to prove to the world just how much you love them. Just let your parents know you love them. That is what matters most to them, not your flowers once they are gone or the song, mother of mine. That is all CRAP. Love is a forever song and music has its own voice. 



The last year confirmation students, were I think not advised on how one must dress up when doing the readings.
The Vatican has a dress code. And one must adhere to the rule when one makes a visit.
Then even more so when one steps on the ALTAR in the presence of the Almighty GOD!
Some of the girls, wore really short dresses that were not decent at all (rather too short) for being on the Altar. What one wears to the Church-I want say nothing on that. But what one wears to the Altar that speaks a lot about the adherence of the Parish and the committee that allows such behaviour. It shows that as a Parish we have no reverence or lack of reverence. The teachers themselves showed lack of reverence to God and inculcated the same in the students. (I say this because, if they did, they would have corrected the girls and told them what is right to wear.)
Lack of reverence passed from the so called teachers to the students.
The confirmation students wished each other Peace and refrained from sharing it with anyone else. It looked like they were protesting everyone else in the Church other than themselves-kind of like the enemy territory. This kind of hypocrisy in their behaviour in the Church was never corrected. What is the purpose of sending them to study if they are not taught the right ways by their elders? They could have sat at home and learnt the prayers. The Church is here to show people the right way, and not let them fall making their life situations worst.
The students are the future. What good is a teacher if she cannot correct the pupils handed to her, or for that matter show them the right way?

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” Matthew 5:23-24.
The sign of peace reminds us that in order to be in full communion with Christ, one must first “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength,” and not forget to “love your neighbour as yourself” Mark 12:30-31.

The above are the words of Jesus. Do we ignore the words of Jesus. We need to forgive and be forgiven to approach the Altar. 
Before we receive our Lord Himself, we wish “Peace be with you.” We offer the peace of Christ. No matter who stands beside you-he or she, could be your worst enemy, but then you say aloud: “The peace of Christ be with you.”
Peace in our world needs to start with peace in our own homes. During the Mass, we wish each other, “Peace be with you.”
In a world in such desperate need of peace, the sign of peace is extremely important. The message is of FORGIVENESS.


Day 22nd July, 2018 – Feast day. Our Lady of Mt. Carmel.
10:00 am Mass. Bishop Allwyn
Fr. Reuben, Fr. Joe, Fr. Alvaro, Fr. Daniel, Fr. Christopher, Fr. Byron.
Normally for the feast mass every year there is only 1 column that is reserved (the 3rd column from the right of the entrance of the Church). And also the first column, there are three rows that are also reserved for the choir members.
But this year it is safe to say that half the Church was reserved and the latter half was open to the people.
The feast mass is for all, I believe that the Church is the House of God.
One of the confirmation teachers was moving up and down telling the confirmation students where to sit. She behaved in a bossy manner. She forced 7 people to sit together in a row. They were not at all comfortable and they looked unhappy and the people at the sides were out of seat.
While I couldn’t help but be forced to watch the show, it occurred to me why the previous batch of confirmation students would never wish the sign of Peace to the others around at the celebration of the mass. They were in plain retaliation.
This year’s students did the same thing when it was time to wish Peace, they wished each other and not the people around them. Please tell me how would they know what the last batch did? They couldn’t, right?
If the teachers are doing wrong, then wouldn’t this be hypocrisy to the highest level?
I do not blame the students. If it is to hold in contempt of Church etiquette and lack of reverence to God, it comes to the teachers who had their way. And a feast mass should never have been celebrated in this manner. At least it never was previously.
The teacher may have got her recognition and an introduction to the Bishop-and maybe a pat on the back.
But were the teachers right? Definitely not.
Some of the confirmation students may not be regulars to the Church. But they need to understand perfectly that when they are in the Church-they are in the presence of God and therefore they cannot hold grudges or come in anger.
The teachers are meant to guide the students. Remember the Our Father, we say, Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

When not wishing Peace, we choose to hold anger and contempt. Therefore not having forgiven we cannot be forgiven. The teachers failed with the last year Confirmation batch and this year so far is no different. 
Mark 8:18 - Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear?
A Feast mass when celebrated, is a thanksgiving-where all the families of the Parish come together on this auspicious day. It is a gathering, a time to look back and thank God for our ancestors and the Church that we come to pray together.
While the confirmation and the pre-confirmation students are a part of it. They do not become the whole by themselves alone. Therefore there should never have been a reservation of seats and the mass should have been celebrated with everyone in mind. It is the House of God






Lately as to what I have heard after the mass celebration in one of the Church in Mangalore, the Priest made an announcement that they were rebuilding the Altar and the cost would be 45 Lakhs.
The thing is the church was rebuilt some 15-20 years back and the painting again done 2 years back.
I was there last October and to me the Altar looked good.
It is us the people that need repairs. We have gotten morally corrupt. We seek all that glitters. And all that glitters is not gold. We need to be purified.
I don’t know who makes the decisions for all the ideas that come to be announced. But whatever it is-if you are part of the decision making team, ask to-rather pray to be guided by the Spirit of God.
It is like the building society that wants improvements and it’s never because they really want improvements but it is how much money they can really eat? I am not saying that of the Church council members, but you see the mentality is how much better can we get than the other parish? IF A gets the yellow lights for Christmas, then B will get yellow green and red lights. C will not be far behind and will get yellow green and red lights and will also add flowers all around. This is the state of high competition in each parish. You could call this a worst example-but is it really? The intention is not to hurt you, because yours is the mind to do good but somewhere down the line it got competitive. We forget it is all the time about Christ, we make it about us.

Let your light so shine, that when the people look at the light, they want to know immediately who you are and where you are from? They never will want to let you go. Be that kind of person, let God prevail in me. Like Jesus always tells me, I am in you as you are in Me. I am learning that I must be 0 for my HERO. When I cease to exist, it is HE, my Lord and Saviour that breathes in me. He is the light that shines.



There is a woman who sits outside Mt. Carmel’s gate. People who pass by just shove in the money and walk away. Nobody even glances at her face when they do that. Now as I was passing her by a lady before me in a hurry removed three 10 Rs notes put it in her hand, did not give a look at her and walked away.
First thing, this is not charity. The word charity means love, so the action of giving should be done with love. Give with love, look at the person, you could smile when you give. You give because you have plenty. The person you are giving to should feel that God visited them. Charity means making the presence of God felt. We fail to understand what charity implies.
Second, I have seen this woman with a cell in her hand speaking to someone. A really poor person want do that. Because to have a connection costs. You would say what about the cost of the cell. I would say just maybe somebody gave it to her.
I have seen this lady sit at St. Peters too. I have heard people tell that she makes so much money and I am not the one to calculate. So I really don’t know.
People who have TV and fridge are not necessarily the poorest people. Because electricity does not come free. 

And the real meaning to the word poor is the mamas who hold their skeletal like baby in their arms with flies all over the babies. What do you think passes on the minds of these mamas? Do you not think they must often wonder why God makes no time for them? Do you not see that the God they are waiting for without their knowing is the image of God? Genesis 1:27 ‘So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.’

We are the ones who need to be for each other. For the ones who need to know that they don’t need to go to bed wondering why God does not watch over them? But you see God is watching over them. God has provided so much and beyond, we all need to open our heart and give generously like the church of the old. They understood God’s message. They understood the love of Christ. They followed Christ completely. They took care of each other. One man’s pain was everybody’s pain. Zeal - the love of Christ. Now zeal would be the right word here. 
When Jesus said you can do greater things, Jesus implied all this, love completely and give from the heart. When we take care of each other, we become and are after the heart of God. Greater miracles are possible when greater love exists. That is what Jesus meant. John 14:12-"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I go to the Father.
God actually comes and resides in the heart of the person and great things begin to happen.
Great things happen when God mixes with us,
Great and beautiful, wonderful things.



But this I will say, we really don’t know how to define poor. I will say what the Spirit of God says. A poor person longs to eat. He sees a loaf of bread and he desires that someone would give it to him. And when he sees someone throw it in the bin, he goes and dusts it and thanks God and eats it or takes it home to his family.
A poor man desires food and water. The roof above his head would be according to him a sweet blessing. All this poor man prays for is something to eat-something he could feed his family with. A truly poor man has nothing except what he wears. 
We who have, have never lived in poverty and never know how to define what poor really means?



I find that we are often so worried, we want to publicise, advertise so it will remain as memories of the things we do.
Latest fad being the facebook and Youtube etc… Look at the way people keep updating their snaps. It’s like they can’t have enough of themselves.
From the start of time, there was nothing that could keep track of records, but somewhere and somehow the details were kept by the one God appointed for the job to be done.
The saints are declared by God and their records are in His memory and He is the One who brings them to fruition. Nobody else can do that. They lived their life to God and God never lets their light fade away.
But humanly when we work for that light to shine, it can last only that long, it will eventually fade away. But the light that is Christ, lives on forever. What He builds in us can never be destroyed. Because what He builds us with is Himself. That light that is Christ, lives forever. 



Mt. Carmel’s - One woman, years back wanted the Prayer Room door to be kept open in the morning. The then Parish Priest explained, it would be kept open at a certain time. She herself told me that she got it done and that is the reason why it is now open. The how, is not important. She used to go to the prayer room at 6:15 am and then attend mass at 6:45. Not in any way did I ask her for this.
This is what I have heard and noticed that if a Priest does not agree with what the people have to say then the people go to the Bishop to have him transferred.
How naïve a behaviour is this? Every Priest is Jesus. When the Priest says something and it does not conform to what we expect, we have to be obedient. Because when we retaliate and walk away, we walk away from Jesus. We say no to Him. And when we get our way, we show our pride in winning. Believe me it would be better you lost, that would mean, you allowed Jesus-God’s will to triumph.
Look at what Adam and Eve did, their disobedience cost them Paradise?
Our disobedience to our Priests, our lack of reverence to God, our lack of reverence in Church, at mass, is going to cost us a lot more time in Purgatory?
Please wake up before your time on Earth is done!

Jesus comes down from Heaven at the celebration of the mass at the time that is set. The Son of God comes to us at our time and we find it difficult to be …what God wants for us to be.



One of the days, I was seated in the prayer room with Jesus at Mt. Carmel. And in comes an elderly lady. After seating herself not even a minute in and her cell is ringing. And she takes the call and continues to speak. After 2-3 sentences being spoken, I got up tapped her on her shoulder, she looked at me and I began telling her, “I am dirt, I am garbage, I am mud and then I point to Jesus and say, we are in the presence of Jesus.” She immediately told the person on the other end, that she would call later.”
Had I not said those things of myself, perhaps she would not understand? Maybe she could feel  humiliated. I did not want that, but I wanted her to remember that she is in the presence of Jesus. That is all that mattered to me. And that is all that should matter to her. Every thing of the world kept aside.
So also to you I say, I am dust and to dust I will return.





Birthdays:
6th November - Fr. Leonard N. (Lenny)
I am so sorry to have missed Fr. Leonard’s birthday. It’s been a week of constant reminders (1st week of March onwards). (The Spirit of God kept reminding me)
15th January – Fr. Edmund C SJ & Fr. Robin S SJ
15th March – Fr. William A.
24th March – Fr. Warner D
17th April – Fr. Leonard N. 19yrs. - priesthood (171819)
1st July – Fr. Ashlyn

20th January – My brother Anthony
12th March – My brother Adrian
1st July – Uncle Hafeez from Pakistan
8th July – My brother Aure
12th July – My cousin
14th July – My mom
1st August - My cousin



Please continue to read: 
This is the first of the two parts to the letter.


Please also do read:

This letter - To Sense... Part 1 and 2 includes all the below topics.
The celebration of the MASS!
To REBUKE or not...
Rebuke 2-Trials
Rebuke 3-The Wilderness
Rebuke-4 The Sacrifice
Rebuke-5 Peter


With all my love,
For Love Prevails!
AnitA. 





PRAYER: Abba, Father, keep me obedient and always faithful. Remember, this your servant.

Mama Mary keep me humble, I pray. Amen.

Prayer for the souls in PURGATORY:- Our Lord dictated the following prayer to St. Gertrude the Great to release 1,000 Souls from Purgatory each time it is said. 
"Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen."


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