Deliver US... Part 3:

A couple of day’s back it was women’s day. Every title I had a glance at stated - woman power. Even the way of the Cross, was based with picturing the women. There were some things-that were not right. Most women liked it because it made their ego feel good. I wont go deep into that conversation.
True women are smart, efficient and on occasions they have been to space and beyond. But there is always a cost. When one has to climb the ladder there is always something one has to give up. If one is married then the family becomes the secondary issue. 
If not, then ones character is always in question. Everything in this world is not about power. The more a woman wants power, the more rubbish her life will get. 
I have seen couples; some of them are really nice. But in certain marriages a woman mostly calls the shots and that’s plain bad. But when a woman is in the outside world, the way she talks to her husband, I wonder how he stays alive. There is no respect. Women will have 100 reasons and men will be quiet. But if you give a man to speak, God only knows how much hurt will seem to come out. A lot of steam in a marriage but the true art is to be able to listen and not blast like we women do. 
When I began working, there was this craving to be successful, to climb the ladder. And every now and then I would feel the rush and I know by the grace of God I have it in me. But there was always the knowing that I would have to give up on being able to attend the celebration of the mass.
Where I was working it would be impossible to attend mass and either ways, in these two years it was a struggle. At times I still feel the lure of the world. Sometimes it is strong. 
We pray for the grace of God, to be able to admit the sin within our own heart. Let us also pray that the evil around us might be truly seen and named. We mark ourselves with the Sign of the Cross and pray that we remain faithful to death.
In the name of The Father and of The Son and of The Holy Spirit. Amen.

"Wives should be submissive to their husbands as if to the Lord because the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is Head of the body the Church, as well as its Savior. As the Church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands in everything" (Ephesians).

In Israel, a Jewish king named Ahab married a pagan Queen named Jezebel. Jezebel the queen in Israel is a model of wickedness seduction, manipulation, idolatry and murder. She represents a hatred of religious authority. The Jezebel satanic spirit depends on lust and weakness to succeed.

King Ahab desires a piece of land near his palace owned by a man named Naboth. Naboth refuses to sell the land since it was his ancestral property. King Ahab went away sad and filled with self-pity. Ahab was selfish and shrewd. When he couldn’t get his way, he refused to eat and stayed in bed, with his face turned to the wall. Queen Jezebel notices the condition of her husband and finds out about Naboth refusing to sell his vineyard. Jezebel tells Ahab that she will obtain the vineyard of Naboth for him. Jezebel, took the scepter of power, illegally took authority and falsely condemned Naboth. She then announced to Ahab, to go and take possession as Naboth is now dead. Jezebel was never submissive to her husband. He surrendered his morality and authority to his wife, Jezebel a schemer. King Ahab, his unwillingness to practice his God-given authority — and giving the scepter into the hands of his wife — brought weakness and corruption to Israel. Entrusted to be the righteous protector, he failed.

A Jezebel spirit seeks to convince women to take the place of the man (to take by force). It happens so much in the world around us. The Jezebel spirit has a boundless capacity for detecting the wounds of an Ahab spirit and exploiting them. The satanic Ahab spirit looks for people who are insecure and people who feel discouraged. An Ahab spirit causes men to flee from responsibility and exercise their God-given authority. 

The devil did not seek to tempt Adam but only indirectly through Eve. Eve talked to the devil that was her first mistake. But having been tempted, she took the forbidden fruit, ate it, and then offered it Adam. When it was Adam's turn he failed to exercise his God given authority. If he resisted he could then have interceded for Eve. But he failed to lead. Eve took up an authority not rightfully hers — she guided Adam and Adam ate.

The key to defeat the Jezebel spirit and the weakness of Ahab is: The marriage of Joseph and Mary. Mary would never, seek to assume the headship. And Joseph was not slow to exercise his God given authority. When he received that dream — Take the child and his mother and flee into Egypt — Joseph calmly led. And Mary did not fail to execute. The Jezebel spirit would have challenged the decision. Mary immediately carries through — because she knows that Almighty God works through the head of the family. Mary lives and breathes that statement she made to the servants at Cana — DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU.

When a man willingly takes the lead and the woman willingly accepts his direction, the spirit of Ahab and Jezebel are exorcised for good.

Remember: The failure to fulfill a responsibility or God-given authority (like Ahab) and aggressive take-over of the authority of others (like Jezebel) both are sinful.

At The Eucharist, we need to worship, knowing that the fate of our souls depend on the celebration of the mass. We need to understand the importance of the mass. When we do we won’t run around. What would our lives be if we really believed?

Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said, "Take, eat; this is my body." And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, "Drink of it, all of you; for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

How often in life, when troubles come – we feel left in one corner. At times like that we wish to be loved. We wish to be understood and comforted. We wish for Someone who would know what the heartache is and what it feels and the emptiness it brings.

There are certain heartaches that make death feel better. How wonderful it would be if God called me home is the thought at times. Certain times one just wants to put an end to their life and some people do. We feel forgotten. This is precisely why Jesus instituted the celebration of the mass, we need to understand that it is our souls which are most precious and the devil would do just about anything to get his hands on it. It is not our life that is in jeopardy but our soul. Now please read the highlighted words of Jesus. Jesus breaks Himself, so must we, but we will never be alone if we truly understand the words of Jesus. When we partake in the celebration of the mass and know what it is that we have in the form of the host-when we truly believe, the devil cannot anymore convince us. He begins to lose his grip. When we believe that it is Jesus, the road may look lonely-but every time you come for the celebration of the mass, ‘at the breaking of the bread’, You will meet Jesus and He is here everyday. ‘Come and see’.

When we come to celebrate the mass, we must come with joy and when we do – let us always remember it is the will of God that we serve. When we come doing our will, we bring in the darkness – we need to leave that way behind.

Let our hearts be full of light and let joy radiate from all corners. 

JESUS leaves Heaven for the altar. Mary is by the Tabernacle; the Host is His Body; the wine is His Blood. He is The Priest, yet He is prostrate as Victim. The mass begins.

If we had that vision inscribed in our soul before, during and after every Mass, Satan would have no power over us. We would prefer nothing to the greater glory of God offered to us in Mass. May we offer God the worship He deserves.

Day 3rd March, 2017. Friday.

6:45 Fr. Reuben, 7:30 Fr. Ashlyn & Fr. Joe  8:00 Fr. Alvaro.
7:30 p.m. Fr. Jude (mass & talk) 
Fr. Jude told us that he worked for 9 years in the Gulf before becoming a priest. When he was abroad mother was in a search for a good girl, so that he could settle down. Fr. Jude told us he worked hard and had dreams as we all do. Parents have a dream of finding the right boy/girl. And one wants to earn a big bank balance. But it is not necessary that what we think will come to pass. We have dreams-but God has a purpose for us on Earth. God’s plans are different. We can plan but at the end it is God’s plan that comes to fruition.

He also spoke something rather elaborated certain aspects on women of the Church. He said that some women are throughout the day in the Church. They leave everything behind – all their household responsibilities. Sometimes children wait at home for their mother to come, as they are waiting in hunger. He or she waits, but the mother is too caught up with all kinds of prayers, services, everything in the Church. When the child needed the mother she was not there at home. 

There is a lot Fr. Jude spoke on but the notes I had written on are missing. On it I had written what Fr. Denzil had spoken on too. I know I will find it after I have updated this topic.
What Fr. Jude said is what I see constantly in the Church. For instance ‘Name: A’ is a Lector, a choir member, attends the Prayer meeting, is in the Bible class, is an Eucharistic minister, is a council member and what not. Now this example is of a married woman, hypothetically speaking.
Tell me where does this kind of person find the time to give to the husband or the kids? Ones deeds tell a lot about the kind of person one is. So if one has time to give completely to the Church and not to one’s family, what does one say to oneself, how does one sleep?

Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. What it means is don’t make a show of things. When you do a good deed, when you are doing something out of love, know that Your Father watches you. You don’t have to play the band, you don’t need to click the snaps, and you don’t have to publicize nothing. Jesus did not do any advertising. Leave everything to God. You be His spokesperson, ‘Do whatever He tells you’. Let God decide what needs to be. 
Don’t advertise; don’t publicize, don’t trumpet—the good done. (This is vain glory). The desire to be seen and the desire to be known, we all have this urge but we have to fight it. The ‘Holy Spirit’ inspired the evangelists, the prophets into authoring the Bible. Daniel was inspired by the ‘Holy-Spirit’ to know Susanna was innocent, and he was able to catch the culprits. Do I need to say more?

Day 4^th March, 2017. Saturday
07:30 p.m. Fr. Ashlyn. 
I had been to the prayer (the First 5 Saturday-this was my first Saturday) 09:00-5:00 p.m. Prayers followed with mass by Fr. Ashlyn.
Fr. Ashlyn was simply superb. His homily in the Church was extremely exquisite. I look at him and am astounded by his capacity and capability to preach and heal.

Day 2nd March, 2017.

06:45 Fr. Reuben and 07:30 Fr. Ashlyn & Fr. Joe

08:00 Fr. Alvaro.

Day 6^th March, 2017. 
06:00 Fr. Ashlyn, 06:45 Fr. Lenny and 07:30 Fr. Alvaro and Fr. Joe.  07:30 p.m. Fr. Reuben.

08:00 - 11:00p.m. – 3 hrs Eucharistic Adoration 
Confessions: Fr. Alvaro & Fr. Ashlyn.

I made my confessions with Fr. Alvaro as Jesus let me to. 
I could see the numbers 33 and 13 on the Eucharist (the Body of Christ at Eucharistic Adoration). No matter how many times ever I closed my eyes and had them open the vision did not change. The numbers remained there.

Day 7^th March, 2017.
The whole day, I was most disturbed. I kept away, avoided talking to anybody. I just could not.
6:00 Fr. Ashlyn, 6:45 Fr. Lenny and 07:30 Fr. Alvaro.
Reading : Isaiah 55:10-11 (my favourite)
Gospel : Matthew 6:7-15  (prayer – Our Father)

 

6^th  February, 2017 – 3hrs Eucharistic Adoration  
13^th February, 2017 – 3hrs Eucharistic Adoration  
20^th February, 2017 – 3hrs Eucharistic Adoration  
27^th February, 2017 – 3hrs Eucharistic Adoration   
6^th  March, 2017 – 3hrs Eucharistic Adoration 
13^th March, 2017 – 3hrs Eucharistic Adoration  
20^th March, 2017 – 3hrs Eucharistic Adoration  
27^th March, 2017 – 3hrs Eucharistic Adoration   

Day 15^th March, 2017. 
Fr. William’s birthday. Fr. Ashlyn made a mention of this during mass as he prayed for Fr. Willie. 

Day 21^st March, 2017.
Fr. Ashlyn’s 8 year of ordination completed. 

Day 24^th March, 2017. 
Fr. Warner’s birthday, mass intentions – there was a birthday blessing. 

Day 20^th March, 2017. 3 hrs Eucharistic Adoration (other priest) 

During confessions, Fr. asked the number of times I attend mass. He told me that it was not necessary to attend that many times. There was no reason why he should have asked. But my heart broke into these tiny fragments. And after that whatever he spoke was like Greek or Latin. I was lost.
When I went back to my seat, I continued to speak with Jesus. I was too broken.

21^st March, 2017 – The alarm rings and I do not attend the morning mass. I am in obedience to what Jesus tells me during the confessional. I know that there is the healing service in the evening so I decide to go for the evening mass. Still hurt Jesus tells me what Jesus told me the evening before, that the confession was not a complete one. I do not understand like I did not understand the evening before, so Jesus then reminds me what the Priest had asked me but I simply did not understand and I answered wrongly. Hence it remained incomplete.
07:30 p.m. Mass: Fr. Alvaro.
Healing service:-Mr. Andy Pigg (Fr. Ashlyn) 
I and Agnes were there by 06:45 p.m. The Church was full by then. We were seated outside the Church. At 10:45 p.m. We left from the Church for home. People entered the Church with no concern for people in waiting. Except 2 Ushers who actually did some work, the rest of them were with Mr. Andy.

One of the days Shalini – asked me to meet her outside the Church after five minutes. As I saw her standing I went out. She asked for help to write and I said okay with no further questions asked. Then she tells me that it was for the announcements of the mass intentions for Wednesday as she had to take her mother to the doctor. Hearing this, I could not pull myself out. So I went along with it. She started to explain what needs to be done.
On a Wednesday morning, she told me that I should be there sitting from 06:15 to 06:40 a.m. I asked her would I have to miss the mass to do this. Yes was her reply. Is there no other way? She told me I had to come at 06:15 – I told her I couldn’t and I don't want to miss the mass. 

Day 30^th March, 2017
6:00-Fr. Reuben  6:45–Fr. Ashlyn  7:30–Fr. Joe, Fr. Savio. 

Fr. Savio gave the homily – it was completely enthusiastic, completely alive. WOW! The way it was rendered. I enjoyed every bit of it. He has a clear voice and when he sings ‘The Gospel according……’ is simply amazing.

Day 31^st March, 2017.

6:00–Fr. Ashlyn                   6:45–Fr. Reuben

7:30–Fr. Lenny, Fr. Joe & Fr. Alvaro. (Fr. Lenny’s act of simplicity with kindness was so beautiful to watch)

When I look at both the Priests, Fr. Lenny and Fr. Ashlyn, to me their simplicity and humility feels – I’ll put it in

my words – I feel rested. I feel in my heart a complete

ease. When speaking of both the virtues - with the two of

them, its too good. Thank God! 

Fr. Reuben - I enjoy every homily. I thank God.
The 13th Fr. Reuben and troupe to Kandala (prayer service). There were 4 different coloured boards that were put up-blue, red, green and yellow. I remembered school days, we had the same colours (with the names of 4 planets). The names were on the board. I thought it was simple and neat and there was a certain discipline.

Day 1^st April, 2017 :   
06:00 am – Fr. Ashlyn mass.
1^st Saturday – Fr. Ashlyn (2^nd month)
Gospel – Emmanuel
Homily – Goodbye the hardest word (Mary by the Cross)

There was a girl sitting a row behind us. And she was praying and singing too loud, the way she was singing, she did not need a mike. Suddenly her volume would go way too high. At moments it felt disturbing. So some time during the day, I just turned back to see who the person was. Saw a girl standing there, was quiet amazed and then I went along with the proceedings of the day. As time passed I came to realize that this girl had a problem and perhaps had no control over her vocal cord.
And this lady sitting by my side during the celebration of the mass started complaining to me and that too quiet loud with the intention of letting the girl hear her complain. She spoke things that were not appropriate, to the girl who could hear. And to my heart it was painful. Aware that the mass is going on and mentally tired - I blurted out ‘Have compassion’. She hit me on my hand and said you did not have to be loud, I smiled back. I would have been quiet but I wanted the girl to know she is loved. I wanted her to leave with that feeling.
At the time of leaving Fr. Ashlyn told us to stack up the chairs. As I was doing this she came and helped me. Isn’t that love. No words spoken.
Fr. Ashlyn asked us to offer the mass for a particular intention as he was praying for all of us. I was so close to want to pray for myself. I prayed to Jesus telling, I always ask for Your will, I know You will take care of me. I offer this mass for all the souls to go to Heaven. And I prayed for everyone there.  

There was this security person, in my building, no matter which part of the day, I  would meet him, he always had a smile on his face. Sometimes, I would hear the 'Good Morning' from behind a wall and I would take a few steps back and there he was standing with a huge smile on his face. I got used to him. And suddenly I was gripped with fear, I thought I am so used to him, what if he leaves? I will miss seeing him, I will miss hearing him. 

A month later security, came for collection of money, for one of the guard was in Hospital and was admitted as he was suffering cancer. I felt it was him and on further inquiry realized that it was what I suspected. 

A little than a month later, there was a circular on the noticeboard  stating his death. Months have passed and every now and then, memories will rush in. People say, you have to do splendid things to be remembered by. He did the most simplest of things. And he will be in my memories always.

I am the kind of person who is afraid to ever say goodbye. I am afraid of losing the people I love. It pains my heart like the words I cannot express. I die a number of times; I cry so much that I could die.
All my life, I have gotten attached to people only to see them leave as soon as an attachment is formed.
I have had very few friends, because the people I like always move.  I am quiet reserved by nature.
I love with my whole heart. 

Day 3^rd April, 2017 : Eucharistic Adoration was cancelled and it pained me a lot. I think most people were disappointed. It's something we all look forward to every Monday. We all feel strengthened when we sit in the presence of Jesus.


Day 4th  April, 2017 : I was unable to wake up as I felt complete exhaustion and body ache today in the morning, missed my morning mass.

Day 18^th February, 2017: Fr. Gilbert, Fr. Terrence (St. Xaviers), Fr. Oniel and Fr. Stephen (name uncertain).

Our Lady of Lourdes Church, Orlem, Malad. My baby-brothers wedding. It was a small celebration the way my brother wanted it.

Reading 1Corinthians 13:1-8A (Love is eternal)

Gospel: Wedding at Cana.

The Church Altar was covered with White flowers all over. The Banquet Hall also was decorated with white flowers. I loved the Altar.

Homily – Fr. Terrence spoke on marriage. He spoke on what a couple does, especially where one plays the music and the other puts in the words. The roles are reversible, so the one who played the music now could have the words and so on. To the world that hears the sound, it plays as a song – titled ‘Our Song’.

With all my Love, 
For Love Prevails!
AnitA.

PRAYER: Abba, Father, keep me obedient and always faithful. Remember, this your servant.

Mama Mary keep me humble, I pray. Amen.

Prayer for the souls in PURGATORY:- Our Lord dictated the following prayer to St. Gertrude the Great to release 1,000 Souls from Purgatory each time it is said.
"Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen."