Saturday, December 1, 2018

Wrestle with God...


The episode of Jacob’s wrestling - Genesis 32:24-30
24 And Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. 25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and Jacob's thigh was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, "Let me go, for the day is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me." 27 And he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." 28 Then he said, "Your name shall no more be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." 29 Then Jacob asked him, "Tell me, I pray, your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. 30 So Jacob called the name of the place Peni'el, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved."



There are times when God releases His blessings on us after a season of prolonged and even painful wrestling with Him. This is Jacob’s struggle with God.


Jacob’s life story is one of deception in an attempt to make things work out in his favour, by his own strength.
Jacob has deprived his twin brother Esau of his birth-right and then, by trickery, managed to receive the blessing from his father Isaac, taking advantage of his blindness. Jacob is on his way back home to Canaan with his wives and children after a twenty year stay in Paddan-aram. And he is scared to death, because his estranged brother, Esau, is coming to meet him with four hundred men. So after splitting up his household into two camps to try and avoid complete destruction, Jacob, intends to spend the night in prayer.


Jacob enters his brother’s territory thinking to take Esau by surprise. Jacob was alone by the river. Jacob is assaulted by a strange man who engages him in a prolonged struggle, wrestling with him all night beside the river Jabbok thereby interrupting his plans. Unarmed, Jacob wrestles unable to see his opponent clearly.
At some point during this contest Jacob realizes that he is wrestling God.


And when God decides it’s time to end the match, the Angel dislocates Jacob’s hip and demands to be released. It is God’s way of showing Jacob that he is not strong enough to win. To strike the hip or thigh indicates total superiority. The Angel is bringing Jacob to a place of brokenness. The reason for dislocating the hip, Jacob’s refusal to quit and his determination to keep on in his own strength. This is a wound that leaves Jacob limping as a reminder of the intensity of the struggle. 


Jacob wins! But HOW does he win? He wins by being broken.

And Jacob, in significant pain, replies, “I will not let you go unless you bless me” Genesis 32:26.
When Jacob’s thigh is wounded, he realizes his opponent’s strength and appeals to him for a blessing. The Angel, asks: “What is your name?” And the Patriarch replies: “Jacob”. (Jacob the grabber, Jacob the deceiver, Jacob the cheater) When, therefore, in answer to the unknown person’s request Jacob discloses his own name, he is placing himself in the hands of his opponent; it is a form of surrender, a total handing over of self to the other.
(It was the Angel of God with whom Jacob actually wrestled. Jacob asked to know the man's name. Then the Angel says: "Why is it that you ask my name?" and the name remains undisclosed.)

This response clearly pleases God, who pronounces this blessing on Jacob: “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob [deceiver], but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed” Genesis 32:28.
One who is powerful with God?
One who is favored by God?
One who prevails with God?

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My struggle date 01 July, 2017 - 11 September, 2018.

https://godofimpossibles.blogspot.com/2018/08/to-sense-1.html
19th June, 2018 - I am told to go to my seat and without being prayed over. As is my habit, I visit St. Peter’s Church. I am at the grotto. I pray to Mama Mary, asking for help as the load of insults seem to be growing with the day.
I enter the Church and I pray to Jesus asking for His help, I tell Jesus it is too much to bear. The insults are too much. And then I am made to remember-Jesus had much to bear and I say, Your will be done.
Due to the job training, I missed the celebration of the mass on 3 Sundays. I felt really miserable.
Jesus had previously told me I would need to make the confession when I got the first opportunity to do so. Jesus would not hold it to my heart. But I had to obey.
And today when I got up to leave St. Peter’s Church, I saw the Priest coming to the confessional. I walked in a haste towards the Priest. I waited for him to sit and then I saw that all was not well with him so I gave him time to adjust and then I asked him if i could make my confession. I felt the presence of a Bishop. I have never done this before. And today I asked of a Priest to know his name. He is Fr. Oscar Rosario. (Resembles Oscar Romero)
Fr. Oscar asked for my whole name. I gave him my name too.
He had a terrible cold, was sick and had just come to sit at the confessional. He was feeling weak but he assured me that he was getting well. I told him that I had gone to St. Josephs for the prayer service and I had come to St. Peter’s and I told him what Jesus had asked me to do, and that he was my first opportunity. I told him, You are Jesus. I told him, You saved me.
Oscar Romero was there. I don’t know why. I am a wretched sinner. I am nothing, I am dust and to dust I will return. 


Day 15th May, 2018 - I was told to stand separately. I stood for so long feeling all so humiliated everyone looking at me like why are you still standing there. 
When Fr. Ashlyn finished praying over others, he walked off as if I was not there. I spoke aloud and asked for his blessings. He did not pray over me but he was forced to give his blessings. Test of patience-all that matters is that I got the blessings of God after the humiliation. Worth it!

I hope you understand what I mention here. God gives us a chance to wrestle with Him, it gets personal and God strengthens us beyond our own imagination. Each day is a revelation of the wonderfulness of God.
I thank God, that I had a wonderful teacher as Fr. Ashlyn, who taught us how to read the Bible and he prayed over us. He taught us to come and sit with Jesus in silence. I am forever grateful to God. I have written of Fr. Ashlyn only as instructed by God. To the glory of God the Father, to the glory of the Son of God and to the glory of the Holy Spirit.

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Therefore, at the end of the struggle, having received the blessing, the Patriarch can finally recognize the God of blessings: he says, “I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved” v. 30, the bearer of a new name, conquered by God and marked forever, limping because of the injury he received.

And, Jacob, renames the place where he wrestled with God as Peniel, which means: “God-face to Face”. Whoever abandons himself to God, permits himself to be transformed by God. And if the object of one’s desire is a relationship with God, then the struggle cannot fail.

Jacob limps to his reunion with Esau with a strengthened faith. 


Blessings through Wrestling:-Jacob began the night fearing Esau’s arrival. But the night of struggle ended with God’s blessing and a renewed faith. 
God addressed Jacob’s fear by requiring him to wrestle all night. The injury that Jacob sustained made him vulnerable to Esau, forcing Jacob’s faith to more fully rest on God and not himself. If necessary, God will cause us to limp to increase our faith. Jacob began a new walk. His limping did not cause him to fear. He no longer relied on his strength or his abilities. Jacob relied on God. But after wrestling with God-“He himself (Jacob) passed on ahead of them and bowed down seven times before Esau.” Genesis 33:3


Wrestling with God, turned out to be a gracious gift of restoration that God gave Jacob. When God calls us to wrestle with Him, we are transformed for good. He has more blessings for us in the wrestling than without it.
Remember, God pursued Jacob for this match. God was the initiator. Jacob was fearful and anxious over his meeting with Esau when God showed up. And the wrestling drew Jacob out of his fearful thoughts and forced him to focus on God. What he discovered was that the wrestling was a means of God’s grace on him. 
Do not let God go until He blesses you!
 

God will meet you in your fear, and uncertainty. Your greatest ally may show up looking at first like your opponent, urging you to wrestle with him. Don't be afraid.
Remember, Jacob. There are multiple blessings in the wrestling. You may not get words of comfort, I could hardly believe the words I heard or for that matter the treatment I received. But what I needed is God’s blessing!
So when God calls you to wrestle with Him, it is an invitation to receive His blessing. Stay with Him and don’t give up. 
Hosea 12:4 states-there were tears of exertion involved in Jacob's supreme struggle that night, and that he moved forward in humility and blessing to fulfill what had been promised him.

The midnight striving is meant to wound and change us, for the better, for it is always God with whom we ultimately wrestle. There is a blessing in every struggle; we only have to ask.

We overcome Him when we yield. And God prevails when we prevail. His victory is our yielding. 

'Abide with me, oh Lord.' 'I will not let Thee go, except Thou bless me,'


Sometimes God forces us to wrestle with HIM.



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